by James C. Stephens


May 3, 1979

“We are always getting ready to live, but never living.” 

Emerson~Journals April 13, 1834

Until recently my life was at the “always getting ready to live” stage. Now I am living life, taking an active role. Before I thought a lot about why things were, why they couldn’t change. I was good at that, no denying.

I spent a lot of time finding reasons why Nichiren Shoshu Academy could not change. Of course I now realize, that was the easy way out. We humans are always good at finding ways for things not to work, simply because it takes less effort.

Then Liz and I realized, how much enjoyment could be wrought out of doing in life. So we made a garden. This was giving to life. Sweat, sweat, anger and joy. Living!

 

 

Stewart Emery Actualizations Workshop

Stewart Emery founder of the Actualizations Workshop, rated one of the top ten most influential  teachers in the Human Potential Movement in the 70’s.

Recently I took an Actualizations workshop. It was a workshop comprised of 74 people and a facilitator. Out of the workshop came a vision to me of Kosenrufu. I experienced how it was to let go of a lot of guilt, frustration; and how it was to experience love and Buddhist mercy. It revitalized my faith in the human race. No longer do I feel like waging a crusade against other religions, but rather leading a campaign showing the dignity of life. And life does have dignity. I feel much closer to Buddhism now than before. I now also have put my criticism of NSA in a proper perspective. Buddhism is life. Buddha is life! I learned, felt, experienced so much during the four day seminar in Actualizations. The unity I felt with those 74 people was so great, so real. Much like my experience with the 88 guys on the Hawaii Convention Stage crew. The experience itself can never be erased. Never, never again will I put down what I have experienced in life, in NSA. It is all gold, experience that is invaluable. Because it is just that~experience.

Maybe I should submit my experience to the World Tribune. Maybe even contribute. Do. I will. No longer am I going to be an observer exclusively. A doer is so much more enlivening. I will return treasures to NSA which I have discovered on my journey in life.

Some happenings lately I’d like to record:

Got my hair permed-feel happy with it. Have to move by June 1st-looking for a house to buy in Santa Monica. Moving seedling to Reiner’s garden, which I have constructed.

File1364

Doing more consistant gongyo-self motivated. Taking Self Esteem Workshop. Took Support Workshop-working out Jealousy in life–low self esteem and insecurity. Workshop for wife in June.

More calm.

Diabetes-working on diet, feeling more energy. Must confirm-keto diastix. Dr. Stevens. Jogging. 1.8 miles (once). Got to get with it. Consistent. Bought one outfit of new clothes.

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Michael Roquemore, a good friend who ran Legal Aid in Santa Monica.

Friendship with Michael Roquemore-lots of growth-very close-great friend, really.

Liz-I- Jealousy both ways more substantial on my side. Overcoming. Will resolve it.

I must let love in my life. Still somewhat closed. Fear of Failure.

Consolidation of stuff of life.

Taking clarinet lessons-Liz trumpet lessons. Get piano.

Start research Travel tapes.

Reading Stewart Chandler-Omnibus.

Intro reading Quotations by Penguin Books. Crystallized wisdom and follies.

Working with Chris Delisle on Art Work

Working with Bob Rafkin on Music and Travel Tapes.

Must get Agent work organized.

Studying Accounting I–Test soon.

Studying Business Law.

Starting up Literary Group Again. Once and Future King.

Working on House on Wilshire idea-Professional offices and restaurant-live there.

National Historical Preservation Society.

Readmittance to CSUN.

Correspondence.

Study now! Bye.

Involvement with anti nuclear crusade and water planet.

Also President Ikeda resigned post April 24, 1979. Hojo now President of the Soka Gakkai. I received guidance from Mr. Hojo when he was here last. He told me next time he was here to see him. I definitely will.

Japanese. Russian.

Salt Talks. Gasoline lines long. Feeling of distrust in society of oil companies.

Williamsburg Nuclear Accident.

 

 

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