Your marriage partner is a mirror

Posted: July 6, 2018 in Uncategorized
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by James C. Stephens


April 23, 1978

I received guidance from Mr. Sugano a couple of weeks past and he encouraged me very deeply. In many respects my perspective was really cleaned up on several matters. One was the matter of Toban. He said I should have the spirit to do more tobans. The strategy of the Lotus Sutra, not just anyone’s strategy. His confidence moved me. I also told him of my feelings in regards to our present campaigns. I told him that I felt a certain way about training, etc., and so many leaders felt I was all wet in a sense, like they knew much more than I did. He said, no you’re on the right track, keep going, make your own resolutions inside, keep it to yourself. I made a resolution to him to have 100 YMD in Marina Chapter by March 16, 1979. He said, Great! It was not at all crazy he said, we need someone to really stand up in the YMD. Beverly Hills, Santa Monica is much smaller than the outlying areas. WE talked of various other subjects and then concluded with lunch at the Chowder Call. He dropped me off at home and did sancho daimoku to our Gohonzon, promising to return for a visit in the near future.

For the past week I (my writing is so poor I promise to improve, but for now I must write down some points in my human revolution). We have been married now for two months and a few days and I believe the honeymoon is over. However, I often wondered what this meant. One thing is for sure–marriage is much different than merely living together. It is much more binding and carries with it a feeling of extreme responsibility. First I must tell you I am extremely glad I have the Gohonzon and the philosophy of Nichiren Daishonin! Mr. Dixon told me the benefits of marriage are really great, but of course this means so are the obstacles.

Your marriage partner is a mirror, a constant one at that, of your own life condition. Things, character, life, carma traits are being revealed in me which I knew I had all along, but was able to handle just on my own escape and dodge power, so to speak. I  am facing several areas at present which I know I can overcome by the merciful power of the Gohonzon. I must admit however I am a bit frightened, frustrated and sincerely anxious about these problems. One is a problem of vanity–this is an extreme poison and at the present, and I realize this is a problem which so many people cannot overcome–even in the first year of marriage. It is a condition of hunger always looking for something better and thinking you see it in another women although you have chosen your course in life. This causes not only your own unhappiness, but also that of your mates. This problem sexually also extends to an impure feeling towards other women, NSA and without. Without overcoming this problem which I believe sincerely I do, is one of the first big obstacles I have yet encountered in my practice. I believe this earthly desire thwarted my efforts in school, etc., before, but I did not thoroughly recognize it as an obstacle in my life.

Secondly, I have a problem in that I sleep too much which has always been a problem with me. Why? Basically Liz pointed this out to me in that it is an escape from pressure. Also it signals that I am trying to overcome a problem without the Gohonzon. A result of this obstacle I have less time and do not use my time.

Thirdly, I do not carry through on things quickly and without a sense of mission. I however feel I am gradually changing this problem as with the other two. Now it is up to me to challenge myself to carry out a courageous practice to the Gohonzon and overcome/change those problems into benefits, absolutely.

Fourthly, I will accomplish 100 YMD by March 16, 1979! This is my campaign. I also will have a house and deepen the roots of our business.

I really understand, that I need fortune to be able to have a successful business based upon the Gohonzon as our goal states. Therefore I believe, oh how I believe only from a gutsy approach to the practice will our business show growth. This will be actual proof of the Gohonzon’s power through my practice.

I deeply desire to love my wife from the bottom of my heart. This will also be actual proof. I see this happen at times, yet I truly realize it is the life condition of Buddha that is love or mercy. So this is related to my practice.

I must fight harder now than ever it is my mission as a youth to be able to show great fortune, happiness through a dynamic practice to the Gohonzon. I have so much to do and I damned will accomplish it!

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