“I have a terrible emptiness inside.”

Posted: May 18, 2018 in Uncategorized
Tags: , , ,

by James C. Stephens

Wednesday, March 29, 1977

11:45 p.m.- Nights have been chilly out. I have felt much the same inside. I feel very much alone. It is not easy to explain because I can not pinpoint what is exactly bothering me. I have no grudges, no hangups. But, I do have a terrible emptiness inside. I can’t find the reason for this, but I’m chanting to the Gohonzon for its resolution. One thing I have reflected on is possibly my relationship to my members. I can’t think that maybe my relationship is not pure enough. My seeking mind and fresh spirit is not there, but then again it is. There is a fine edge missing in something, but it remains a mystery. I have a feeling I’m going to have a major obstacle or a major benefit soon in my practice. Which, I don’t know. Maybe this is what is bothering me. This indecision.

“Alfred Eric Leslie Satie (Honfleur, 17 May 1866 — Paris, 1 July 1925) was a French composer and pianist. Starting with his first composition in 1884, he signed his name as Erik Satie.”


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