Learning the Hard Way

Posted: December 6, 2016 in Uncategorized

by James C. Stephens


December 4, 1974

If there’s anything I think I have learned tat I have got to learn and practice it is following. I’m a person that has to learn the hard way. About a month ago Soshibucho (General Chapter Chief) gave me guidance about my relationship about a Joshibu (Young Women’s Division member). For about a week, I followed then I blew it. Almost immediately afterward I got an infection (not venereal disease) in my organ. At the time I thought it was. But this I didn’t hold against her.

You know the time she had even given me her key and I walked in late with two malted shakes and hamburgers late one night only to find her in bed with another guy naked. The Gohonzon couldn’t be more clear to me. But I have such a thick skull. Later she always wanted me around to do her favors around the house and to stay overnight. It got be, me give my all, but when anything went wrong it was all my fault. Man, I don’t need this. She had me almost believing it was my uptightness. It was to a certain extent, but boy she is stubborn as a mule. She had me believing (not really) that everything was my fault.

Last night she came over, took me out to dinner, and then to her kitchen which I volunteered to do because I had cleaned my house and was sick of being in the house. She was very cold to me. Why, I didn’t know. I don’t need that from a woman, I need a loving woman who cares for her man.

But I know I’ll never have a relationship for a long time to come. I’m not ready to. I won’t even go out with a girl–this I can do I know as I already did for four and a half years. I don’ need this. I have to build a future. Now there is no looking back ever. From no on the experience lives on in my life valuably, but then the books now closed.

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